'Tis a Web 2.0 Christmas, and all through the house,
The PCs are stirring, I reach for my mouse.
I mail all my eCards, and update my blog
With the latest laments about too much egg nog.
The Wiis are still lined up and labeled with names,
In hopes they'd be filled with age-appropriate games.
And I'm looking forward to being alone
To spend quality time with my brand new iPhone.
The kitchen is quiet, no guests are arriving;
The family's decided to avoid all the driving.
So no celebration or dinner at my place;
This year we'll just be connecting on MySpace.
On Friendfeed, on Bebo, on Orkut, Oh no,
YouTube just banned Grandma's new video.
My RSS notification is blinkin;
Oh look, it's a job op from someone on LinkedIn.
I haven't touched base with my friends, but no matter,
I'll log on to FaceBook to read all their chatter.
Lisa is baking, Baby Anne spilled her juice
And Karen just got her traditional goose.
Jeff's making a list, Kate is checking hers twice;
It turns out little Timmy's been naughty. not nice.
Judy just poked me, so I poked her back.
Cousin Donnie is getting his life back on track.
It's my turn on Scrabble, MaryLou took a quiz;
Scott's feeling mellow, and Christan just is.
Jason just learned the true meaning of Xmas,
When he logged on and found no red rings on his Xbox.
Paul is now friends with Ricardo and Lynn,
And Ian and Jean Claude, and Petra and Nguyen,
And Samir and Seamus, Giovanni, and Rhett,
And pretty much everyone else on the Net.
And just when I think that I've read it all,
I discover that Santa's just wrote on my wall.
"I'm old and I'm weary, and sick of the elves,
Why can't all you people just shop for yourselves.
On eBay, and Craigslist and Amazon.com
It's really not hard to find gifts on your own.
But in spite of it all, I'm feeling quite merry.
The Missus just gave me a brand new BlackBerry."
So a virtual Christmas can have its rewards;
No cooking, no cleaning, no recycling cards.
If you're tired of the season, the tinsel and glitter,
Just log on and follow your family on Twitter.