Thanks to Will C. Mott for the tip: This one is a little on the..um...blue side, so if you offend easily, you might want to skip over it. If, on the other hand, you're delighted every time a programmer sneaks something like this into a program like Word, you may get a kick out of it. Here goes...

Start Microsoft Word 95 or 97 and type "Unable to follow directions" (no quotes). Highlight the text and then go to the Tools menu and choose Language and then Thesaurus. The suggested replacement would make the Viagra folks proud