In one of the lighter moments of today's MMS keynote, Microsoft Corporate Vice President Brad Anderson was telling keynote attendees about the time and effort Microsoft went through in determining what venue MMS 2013 would be held at. (Anderson did officially announce later in the keynote that the real MMS 2013 will be held in June 2013 in New Orleans.)
While discussing the move, Anderson briefly displayed a document emblazoned with the words "Secret" that supposedly showed what the Microsoft management team thought of various venues for MMS.
I was able to grab a quick (and blurry) screenshot of the document contents before they vanished off-screen, and have transcribed them below. One or two of my entries aren't 100% accurate (my photo clipped some of the entries), so if any MMS 2012 attendees have more accurate/in-focus photographic evidence, please let me know and I'll update my list.
So with tongue firmly planted in cheek, here's my transcription of Microsoft's "Top Secret" 2013 MMS venue deliberation document.
- Las Vegas - The "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" rule is beginning to provide limitations for attendees.
- Orlando - Noise from "It's a small world" becomes super annoying.
- San Diego - IT Pros too close to swimming pools with large mammals with the word "killer" in their names.
- Hawaii - IT Pros in bathing suits will scare off the rest of the paying tourists.
- Seattle - RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN.
- New York City - Impossible to get 5000 attendees all to venues 4 at a time in cabs.
- Miami - Close enough to Orlando you can still hear "It's a small world" over and over.
- Wellfleet, Nebraska - Ample parking space, but traffic to the Elks Lodge (only event venue) can be slow.
- Round Rock, TX - Can go party with the Dell guys, but that's about it.
- Kansas City - Not a lot of vegetarian BBQ options for the attendees.
- Chicago - Big argument with NY folks about pizza crust at venues.
- Los Angeles - IT Pros and celebs mingling is just bad.
- Fargo, ND - Language barrier with most attendees and the locals.
- Phoenix - Too hot - even in April.
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