Editor's Note: We hope you enjoy our attempts at April Fool's humor in the following article!

Q: I’m an older model Pentium III desktop. Recently, my guy has started perusing computer marketplace sites and downloading model specs. He claims he just likes to look. Should I be concerned?

A: Yes. You can try defragging or getting a system tune up, but if he’s already looking, you’re probably just postponing the inevitable. Operating in denial doesn’t help. Accept that you’re getting older and may not be providing for his needs. I’ve known many machines who’ve been relatively happy in their later years being the “other” computer, performing backups, storing photos, or doing simple word processing tasks. As long as you keep yourself useful, you might not end up being given to the wife’s second cousin’s brother-in-law for experimentation or spare parts.

—Jess Kidden

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